jar of clay

This is another post to blow off some steam. 

I guess what I am disappointed in some pastors nowadays is their uprightness or actually, the lack of it. It just bothers the heck out of me that some of them employ sneaky tactics to cover their butts and win popularity in the church. 

Selfishness. Pride.

These things prevent them from working for their real boss, God, which then cause a lot of problems. 

Where is the servant leadership? 

But I realize that the churchgoers are somewhat responsible for these behaviours to a certain extend. Yet there is no excuse for those pastors. They do have choices. At times their tactics are well planned, orchestrated with complex maneuvers and effort. 

That is scary. 

For me, I don't really ask too much from pastors as long as he or she is upright in front of God and man, honest, has a pure heart and love God. That's it. I don't demand great sermon, just tell me the Words of God. I don't mind if the sermon is like a lecture and lack entertaining elements as long as it is the Words of God and the truth. I don't care if the pastor is a lousy singer, has little talent, does not have a master or PhD, has a ugly spouse or kid or whatever. 

The world does not lack talent or education or skills in the latest trend and technology. The World lacks and desperately needs the message of God. 

Some pastors are marketing themselves according to the trends of time, doing things to win people, to have people look up upon them instead of God. 

We are jar of clay. We are only instruments for God to work in us. The thing is whether we have God inside, working in us. 

Things to say to PKs

Sometimes, I think about the stuff that I have to listen to as a PK and how I wouldn't have to endure any of it if only I was just another "church goer".

Seriously, things that people talk to me about would usually send people away to another church in the least and make them stop believing in God altogether.

I wish people can at least "act" more "Christian" at church rather than being rude and insulting to their fellow brothers and sisters.

I guess PKs are just not part of the "brothers and sisters" of the church. We are something different. We are the aliens. We are disposable. Same with pastors.

I just wonder if those people ever consider us to have "feelings" too, that we are also human. I wonder if they know how unreasonable and hurtful the words they say hurt people. Well, many of them said those things intentionally. How evil. Really wonder how we can call ourselves "Christians", why don't we just call ourselves "shitheads"? Rev David Pao was right when he said we are all "scums".

Used

As a PK, I got no problem with serving with my heart and soul, but something often crosses my mind and it's that I might be "used."

I am not talking about being "used" by God, but about being "used" by people and their schemes.

Being put into difficult serving positions because as a PK, some people actually think that I am the "extra" part of church or the "extension" of the pastor, and not a regular brother or sister who has feeling, can get hurt, would complain and etc. PKs, in their eyes, can be "compromised" (and that is a nice word at that). At times I do know that I am being used. Being put into tough situation or serving positions that no one else wants to do, do the dirty work, not being treated honestly and etc. But I just do it anyway. Because I can see the ultimate good, and what I can do in those situation.

Some people might think I am stupid for doing all that, doing so much for so little in return, but my reward is not here. Some people, and in my case, the leaders and even some pastors would choose ministries and serving positions that get a lot of exposure and "rewards". Some of these serving positions require very little work but get great recognition. Some of the important dirty work are outsourced to others.

What are those earthly "rewards"?

Positions that would give them cult following. Positions that are prestigious like chairperson of this and that committee (where in some cases the actual work is given to the other "lower" members). Positions with uniform. In ministries that are fun and thus people would join and have fun and be happy and love the person in charge who also have a lot of fun. Nothing wrong with having fun, but using it also along line with making a following is wrong.

Actually this personality cult following trend is just utterly wrong and disastrous to the growth of church. It is very harmful and has a profound effect on current and future leadership of this church.

The people who are in leadership position is using this stupid and wrong strategy. It creates so much relationship/people problems, setbacks and dilemmas. And the worst thing is that the younger ones following the same strategy thinking that it is the "right" way to go.

Unity

Guys, the "HEAD" is GOD! Not individuals. We are suppose to make people into fans of God, not fans of other sinful human beings.

God unites us, by following God, we are united. When we follow people, we will be divided, and actually that's the situation right now. We are divided because we are following people.

Real Life

Today, I had lunch with a pastor at church and one of the questions that came up was, well, actually the question was very indirect, but the meaning was clear. It was about my commitment to church and whether I am serving because of my dad or not (or for church). It was very vague question but the intention and meaning of the question was very clear. It was on whether I am here committed to serve church whether my father would continue to serve the church or not. The pastor made the example of, "If your brother is going to school overseas with your dad, would you still be at this church? Can you make the distinction."

I find the question offensive. And I think he should know better. The question really was "if I would stay if my dad leave the church." He versed the question very carefully so that on surface it doesn't seem to be anything of significance but it is.

I have been asked to change my membership. And I have resisted not because I don't care. I care about the church intensely, I lose sleep because of bad things happening at church, I feel pain when things go wrong at church and my father feels the same.

I am very concern with the church, probably more concern than most of the "church members." Why? Because this is God's church. This is God's and it is being polluted and perverted. I cry for the innocent people at church. The new believers, the high school students, the young, the good and naive. I care for their spiritual walk, foundation in the faith and relationship with God. I would pain me a lot if I see the church decay. To see these energetic young Christians get perverted by twisted people who are too selfish to see the Truth. Too selfish to see God, too selfish and too prideful to see that this is not their church, this is God's church, Christ's body.

If an average church goer or member see what I see, know what I know about the ugly things that go on in this church, he would probably leave. In fact, a lot of people have left. There is reason why there's holes (population gap) at church.

Going to this church is difficult for me, but I serve here with my heart and devote much time to it because I believe that I could a difference and hopefully people can see that things can be improved, that we can make a breakthrough. I hope that through my serving, people can see my father's position. There are gossips going around, negative things going around about my father which are untrue. I want them to see that it's not so by action, not words, but action.

I knew that when I decided to be more involved at church that the more involved i am at serving, the difficult and painful it would be. because when you serve, you throw part of your heart out there, and naturally you get attached and form relationships with people. The deeper you get, the deeper the hurt can be when things go wrong. The stake go up. I think experienced pastors know this fact and so do people who serve wholeheartedly. It's kind of like the more you hope for the greater the disappointment could be.

And at times, even when you throw yourself out to serve, to make a difference, it might not be appreciated or accepted. You might rejected. We can see Paul experienced that sometimes in his letters. But as Christian, as servants of God, we sometimes have to make tough decisions and know that we do it for God. We do what's right and acceptable not in the sight of men but in the eyes of God. We serve God, that's our ultimate purpose. Sometimes we have to made decisions and act on them. We can fool people but we can't fool God and we will be accountable to Him.

We can be short-sighted and look only at treasures (of the world) that we can see with our naked eyes. The treasure is up there. That's what important, not what's down here. It pains me that even some pastors at church do not know what they are doing at best, or at worst, doing wrongs knowingly for personal benefits. That is painful to see. It's a petty. It's heartbreaking.

We can be so much better. We can do so much better. We have so much potential. But some of us chose not to and stall and limit what we can do for God.

We need God, the world needs God. The world, especially a place like Hong Kong, needs God. We need to know what's right and wrong, and say "No" to wrongs and do what's right. We are given free will, we are responsible for ourselves. We are responsible for our ministries, church, for our community, our city. Nobody going to do it for us. We have to do it. It should be our burden, our mission.

I answered with, "My approach is that I will serve as long as I am here," I don't know how long I would be here but as long as I am here, I would like to serve the church in whatever ways I can that would benefit the church. I serve the Lord and that's beyond any earthly church membership and barrier. I even said that it is difficult for me to see myself living in Hong Kong in the long run, permanently, like in ten years. As long as I am here, I would like to serve actively. That's my attitude in serving, I give what I can give: time, energy, heart, soul, mind, etc. 

I can't see what tomorrow going to bring. I do not know how long I would stay here. Anything can happen, things can change. People living in Hong Kong should understand this. We live in a society of constant change. But does that mean we don't do what is needed to be done now, just because we don't know what tomorrow is going to bring? No. 

It's like playing competitive sport, like football (soccer). As a player, you practice, train and keep your body in the best shape possible in preparation for the football match. You might be playing against a stronger team with little hope of winning, or you might get injured by a tackle, or you might get a red card, or you might be traded to another team before the next match, or you might even die on the field. Nobody knows, but you get prepare for that match no matter what. You hope to play well and you hope to win disregarding whether you know the outcome or not.