The theme is still simplicity.

I don't like how church is becoming more worldly in its operation and under the table deals and relationship, people getting used and etc.

It is just not what it is suppose to be.

This church is really a mess. There are so many core problems mainly with its culture that will continue to create problems. The structure is weak. There is way too many unhealthy relationships. A disorderness that is continuing to cause problems and misunderstandings.

The worst is that there is a tradition of manipulation and influence. Things are not in the open. There are backdoor deals, things are not in the open, people are afraid of responsibility and those with titles are unmotivated and incapable of doing anything.

And looking around, there are hardly any good quality leaders who are not (intentionally or unintentionally) grounded and uncorrupted by the world. Really. There is a shortage. I have no idea how in the world we can set things right and clean up this messy system we have here.

It's like a malfunction machine. The left hand can't coordinate with the right hand, the left foot doesn't communicate with the thigh. The right foot has a secret deal with the neck but doesn't know what the left leg is doing while the left index finger is trying control the right shoulder. Uuur. What can you do here? It's getting better but I am seeing a decade project and I am being optimistic (hoping that no shit happens in between and a lot of shit is happening as of now).

There is also a lack of respect for clergy and a tradition of incapable and irresponsible deacons who...I don't know what to say about them. Some of them are just bad, selfish people. People that you wouldn't even hire for work. The finance is a mess, for over a year we have been getting inaccurate budgeting. Urr. We need an extra pastor and for some strange reasons we still haven't after 2 years! Some of the deacons are just lazy. Some are manipulative. The ones who have good intention are not too mature, not too grounded in the faith (worldly) or the Word, naive and just being manipulated or are too afraid to stand up.

I just don't know what is going on. Can they live with themselves? Can the divine ray of God just blast us with truth and knowledge? We really need that. Just wake us up. I don't know how the deacons just can't lead. We ened leaders. I find myself pushing one of the deacons to hold meeting for something we have to do and I have been asking and pushing and reminding the deacon for like at least 4 months. What the heck is going on? What do they think they are doing exactly? They have to lead. Lead by example. Do they know Jesus? Jesus lead by doing it, walking the talk, serving others. Some deacons hers just think they are CEOs or something and their roles is to tell people to do work. NO No NO. Lead by serving. Lead by doing. Do the talk. not just talk and no work.

People have channel vision. Get a wider church perspective. There is also an addiction with control. All these leaders are like power thirsty or something. They just need to control others. Need to raise up a bunch of followers, a bit like Mao Zedong's personality cult.

Can we just do what Christians at church are suppose to do. Serve God? Not ourselves. Not to build personality cult like Mao but fanfare for God. Love God, your alligence to God, not your favorite person at church or the guy who makes you feel the best or spoil you.

All these diseaes. What can we do with them.