Don't know how to start but I will just say what's on my mind and introduce myself a bit.

I am Calvin and I am a pastor's kid. I am a middle child and my dad has been serving the Lord before I was born, so I was basically born in church. Grew up in churches my whole life.

Been through some rough stuff growing up as a pastor's kid and in church. Actually I still do. I am currently going to the church my dad is serving at. I knew some other pastor's kids. Some are alright and doing well, and some not too good. I totally think there should be better support for pastors, pastor's wives and pastor's kids. I thought about collecting stories from pastor's kids and compile them into a book like a Chicken Soup book for pastor's kids, but that's probably something further on in the future. I am actually collecting stories now so, if you happen to be a PK and wouldn't mind to sure please send in a comment and feel free to email me at: cycalvinchu@gmail.com. Or if you are struggling, drop a comment and I can pray for you.

Well, anyway, as a pastor's kid, there are a lot of things that I can't tell most of my church members about because it might discourage them or simply because they wouldn't understand or for other reasons. So I basically vent by writing. I lush out my disappointment, frustration, pain, anger, outcry, sadness and etc with writing. During a conversation, the pastor of my previous church I went to suggested that I should start a blog.

So after thinking about it, I agree. It can be lonely as a PK sometimes and I hope that by sharing some of my experiences and thoughts, I might be able to help others. To bring better understand of PKs by others and let other PKs know that he or she is not alone. There are many of us out there who are probably going through similar experience.

Recently, there are many unpleasant things happening at my church right now. It has been difficult going to church sometimes, at times I feel like as if I am going into a battlefield. And God tells us that we are suppose to be his soldiers, but it is still hard because most people don't think church should be a battlefield, but a simple place of worship, praise and love. Many churchgoers do not know what's exactly happening at their church right now, with church politics, illnesses and weaknesses of the church and etc. But as an adult pastor kid, I get to experience and see a lot of things, some ugly and bad, that not too many people are aware of.

Things that you don't expect to be happening in a mob is happening at church. There are lies, backstabbing, insults and etc happening at church. I wonder sometimes whether some churchgoers actually believe in God, it seems that they are part of Satan's work more than doers of God's work. Some lie to hundred of people. to themselves and to God on the podium. It's shocking and very sad and demoralizing. People misquoting the Scriptures, bending the Words for their own selfish evil schemes. People using one another for reasons I cannot comprehend.

Yes, going to church to me is sometimes disappointing. I wonder at why these people are doing such things. Don't they call themselves Christians, literally meaning "little Christs," a name given to the early Christians because they were Christ-like and set apart from others. A lot of times people at church became part of the work of Satan because of insecurity, pride, selfishness, poor spiritual life, hate and etc. It hurts because they are hurting the flock. They are hurting the church, God church, and often me and my family as well.

As a PK, I sometimes get isolated, I get rough treatment, people say disrespectful things to me, expect certain things they don't expect from themselves or their kids from me and experience other such injustice. Of course, there are good people too and good side of being a PK.

But through all these experience and seeing how wrong things are, I see why we need God more than ever. Because men are crooked. We are sinful. We are stupid. We are freaking idiots and there's no God, no Christ, no cross, then there is no HOPE for us. All that is good come from God. Justice, beauty, truth and etc. We need God. We are hopeless without God. It would be a scary place if there's no Bible to tell us what's right and wrong. So, being at church, even when seeing all these things going wrong, it is really a reminder of how important God is and why it is so important for us to follow his Words. I don't want to be one of the bad guys. I want things to better. I want justice. I want truth to reign. And God is the truth.

In bad situation when it seems like all hope is lost and that Satan and his work is just pounding down, crushing me, all I got is God. He is my hope from all these wickedness.